This is what community looks like
I’m still in my pajamas and work starts soon. I am going in later because I am tired of spending all my time there. No time to write or just be at home. I am “working hard”,which means I am neglecting the fact that I don’t want to be “working hard” for someone else. Sigh.
But this morning, I got to see my housemates and got to take in how caring they are, while Josh and I run around with a doom cloud. We’re just having a hard time transitioning and it doesn’t help that we’re half of the household. But when I see the smiles of Stan and Lauren in the morning (or anytime we see them), I am comforted that the whole day isn’t and won’t be crappy. We have awesome friends, who work hard to be our friends AND our housemates, and who love us, and that makes me want to smile and cry.
You see, when trying to build community you can’t tell people (or yourself, for that matter) that it’s all worth it when the shit hits the fan. When the chips are down, something happens. People in community know that there is a group to hold, as well as individuals.
When Lauren tells me there’s work to do outside, I don’t hear that I have chores to do, I hear that this house needs 4 people to make it work. And when I am hating people, I can make some time to be by myself and work the land. I NEED that. Even if I can barely drag myself into work clothes, I need the gentle push of my friend.
And when Stan says he’ll burn us a disk of the “necessary” Lost episodes, I hear the gentle hug of “It’s okay, this crappy feeling won’t last too much longer.” So I smile. It’s just a tv show, but now it’s more than that. It’s our friend telling us that we’re not alone, we won’t hit bottom, and it’s almost over. Sigh.
This is what community is. It’s two people helping two other people and then we switch. I look forward to our turn to make wheat-free and sugar-free pick-me-ups for our friends when they are having a rough time. I look forward to giving that gentle push so they know we’re watching and we’re able to care for them too.
I love this house AND home.